Dear New Mom: Jessica

I am so excited to start my Dear New Mom series where over the next couple of months I will be featuring a different mom that will give you a little insight on what to expect as a new mom. Hope you enjoy! 

Dear New Mommy:

Congratulations! Your new baby is either here…. Or about to be… and you’ll feel love like you’ve never felt before.  Your heart will swell and burst all at the same time and you’ll never know that loving someone this much was possible.  

Along the way, I’m sure you’ve read all the books, you’ve heard all the unwanted advice, and you think you’re prepared.  Well to an extent, I’m sure you are. But… let me tell you, there are SO many things those books don’t talk about and SO many things your friends don’t want to tell you.  So that’s where I come in.  After I had my son, I remember lying in the hospital bed as three nurses packed my nether regions with ice, and put me in a diaper as big as a pillow thinking, “why the h*&% did no one tell me this was going to happen?” Now my labor was super easy. We had to be induced, again no one told me that to be induced, it meant that a woman was going to shove her HAND halfway to my throat and insert a pill the size of the head of a pin.  But twelve hours later, Carter was here, happy and healthy as a lark.  

Those twelve hours in between, I experienced a few of the “why the h*&% did no one tell me this?” in regards to the labor process.  First, I had sworn my water broke three times before the date of my induction.  Everyone had told me, “I swear you’ll know when it breaks.”  I didn’t believe them.  Well… I promise… I swear you’ll know when it breaks.  F-l-o-o-d.  But what no one told me is that it wasn’t just water.  It’s water, and fluids, blood, mucus. Not. Just. Water.  Someone could’ve told me that.  Someone also could have told me that I would be levitating in pain.  Everyone said, “It’s not that bad,” and I will say that you do forget the pain.  It’s God’s way of making you want to have more babies in the future.  I do have one word for you:  Epidural.  God bless you if you’re going all nat-u-ral!

I knew that labor was going to be crazy and hectic, and I laid there the whole time saying to myself: “this wasn’t in the book.”  First thing not in the book:  Baby Shampoo.  Carter was birthed via the miracle of Johnson and Johnson.  NO ONE told me that the delivery nurse was going to RIM my hoo-haw with baby shampoo OVER AND OVER AND OVER again to ready for birth. Also, be prepared that there will be a ton of people in the room when you are just about to pop.  Two minutes before labor, there were four of us.  Thirty seconds before labor, there were FIFTEEN people in the room.  Sure everyone has as job to do, but I looked up and EVERYONE is staring right at me, and in that moment, of course nothing else mattered, but I wish I would’ve known this was how it was going to be!  Then comes the part where I began, after I’m all sewed up, there were three nurses packing me in ice and putting me in a diaper.  Yep, an over-sized whale of a diaper with several gigantic maxi pads.  I would’ve remembered reading that somewhere along the way.  Then comes the lactation consultant who MANHANDLES your boob to get it into your baby’s mouth…. Totally not awkward at all (especially when halfway through I realized I think she’s the parent of one of my students….).  Whew!  One thing I must mention before I move on from birth is blood… blood.  for.  days.  And days…. And days.  They send you home with those gigantic diapers and maxi pads, and ice packs and advise use for “as long as it takes for the bleeding to stop.”  I asked my girlfriend about it the next time I saw her, and she said, “Well I didn’t want to tell you that part of it!  It’s gross!”  Someone sure as hell better put that in the next revised edition of What to Expect.  

Here’s the advice I want to give to new moms (but never do because I HATED hearing people’s advice): watch your husband’s face when he picks up you baby the first, second and fiftieth time.  How many times in this life do you get to watch someone fall in love?  It’s amazing.  Don’t listen to the gab about circumcision, shots, kissing your baby, cloth diapers or anything else: make your own choices.  I know too many people who have fallen victim to listening to what others think and regretted it later on.  This is YOUR child.  It’s not your mom’s, or your sister’s or your mother-in-law’s.  You created this baby; you get to make the choices that are best for your family.  

And my final piece of advice to new mommies is simple, as it was told to me before I had Carter and I treasure it the most: when the hubbub of the hospital dies down, and your husband falls asleep, and your visitors are gone, take a picture from your perspective of your baby in their little crib.  You won’t remember much from this day, and soon it will all be a blur.  But that one thing, your baby in the quiet, and how they looked in that moment from your perspective will be a memory and a picture you will cherish forever.  You’re a mommy now.  Forever.  For weeks after I had Carter I cried and cried and cried not because I had PPD, but because I was so happy that for the rest of the days I walk this earth, this child is mine.  Thank the Lord, praise him, again and again and again, because He is good.  

Oh… and one more thing.  Call your mom.  Tell her you love her.  Because for the first time in your life, you’ll realize just how much she loves you.  

Peace, love and blessings,

Xo Jessica  

Jessica, also known as "Carter's Mommy", is mother to seven month old Carter and they live in Las Vegas. She is a lover of writing and all things baby! Follow Carter (and Jessica) on Instagram @thatbabycarter .