Dear New Mom: Courtney

Dear New Mom,
Are you tired yet? Whether you are still expecting or have already brought that bundle of joy home, it’s likely you are no longer sleeping like you did before. I remember complaining to my husband in about month 14 of my pregnancy of how uncomfortable I was, and how tired I felt because I wasn’t sleeping! HA! I should have enjoyed that stage, because once my son Hudson arrived I really found out what “not sleeping” meant. Having been blessed with a great sleeper in my daughter four years ago, and completely unfamiliar with this new night owl of a baby, I seriously was Googling, “how long until my baby sleeps through the night” about four weeks into this gig. I kept questioning EVERYTHING!
“Am I feeding him enough during the day?”“Am I stimulating him enough?”“Is he going to bed too early?”“Is it because he’s not in his own room?” “Should I play ‘white noise’ in his room?”
Seriously, I have asked myself all of these questions. Now, eight weeks in, and I can tell you that I still don’t know the answer to any of them. I assume I’m feeding him enough and playing enough. We have added a sound machine, and he does lay in his own bed. That said, I’m still not certain what has helped him sleep better if ANY of these things at all. He’s still not a great sleeper, but every day gets better.
Why am I telling you this story? I know you don’t care about my son’s sleeping habits or my exhaustion...we all have our own to deal with.
I tell you this because if there is anything I can prepare you for on your journey through motherhood, it’s the questions.
You are going to wonder about everything: his poop, his facial expressions, when he should start smiling at you, when he should start holding his head up, how often you can bathe him, how much he can eat at what age, etc.You are going to ask other moms, and probably have Google set as your homepage. You are also going to hear a lot of different answers. You will read things that tell you, “put rice cereal in his bottle at -2 days old” followed by comments like, “NEVER feed your baby rice cereal...even if he’s 20”. Okay okay, that’s extreme, but for real… everything you look at will have an opinion out there to contradict it.
My advice: hone in on that Mother’s instinct. Wrangle it, wrestle it, and own it! Questioning everything is normal. Afterall, we all just want to know our children are normal and healthy, and that we are progressing. BUT don’t let the questions own you. It’s so easy to get caught up in the “right” and “wrong” way to raise a child (just Google ‘breastfeeding vs. formula feeding’ if you need a good example, ha!) But, there is not a “right” and “wrong” when it comes to this. Every single child is an individual, wired divinely different, and in need of completely individual things. Every little one is “custom made”. There is ‘pre cooked’. There is no recipe. There is no winner in this challenge.
So if you want to formula feed, do it. If you want to put him in his own bed from day one, go for it. You want make your own baby food? Cool. You think he needs that extra ounce? He probably does.  Parenting is an extremely tough job physically and emotionally all on it’s own. Don’t contribute to the crazy by driving yourself insane with the textbook answers. Try things, and if they don’t work, try different things until something DOES work for you. This is all just a process of trial and error, and one person’s error can be another’s triumph.
Don’t compare yourself. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Don’t question yourself.
Love God, Love your littles, and enjoy every darn minute of motherhood. Stop worrying about the opinions. The questions will come, but you and your little one get to write your own answers.
Love and Best Wishes,

Courtney Jo FryThe Pink Porch

Courtney is author of the blog The Pink Porch.

She is a wife to her super supportive husband, Ryan, and full time mommy to Caroline (4 years old) and Hudson (2 months). She loves the Lord, photography, writing, blogging, and playing with her little ones (including her fur babies, Ewok the Pomeranian and Lola the cat). Please check out her blog for more! www.thepinkporch.com